Meanwhile, Kane gives a topless massage to a young woman, and I hate everything. Donna and Nicole shoot back, and this time it’s Nicole shooting the thing down with a rocket. These two guys attack from a helicopter (the same one that appeared in Guns), but fortunately they attended the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy. The first team of assassins attacks before noon, which only serves to annoy our grouchy heroines. Mystery solved.ĭonna calls up agency boss Lucas, and he titles at them that they’re in a “Do or die situation.” I suspect they will be invincible. Only Sidaris somehow knew and he totally calls it out when Nicole says, “Don’t you do your best thinking in here?” So, yeah, Donna’s brain is fed through warm chlorinated water absorbed through her nipples. Supermarket and I have referred to as their “thinkin’ tub”) with Nicole, and they’re both topless because they have to be to think. The ladies head home and the greatest thing ever happens. Then one of Kane’s thugs slips a tracking device on Donna’s watch without her noticing, and the bad guys leave. You need the opportunity to use your skills and resources. “Why not kill us now?” they wonder aloud, not understanding that maybe that should be an internal monologue. Anyway, he tells them that he knows they’re government agents, he’s had it with their nonsense, and his dispatching six teams of assassins to kill them. Donna and Nicole are pulled out of it to meet bad guy Kane. Synopsis: We open on a luau, because goddamn it, we’re in fucking Hawaii. IMDB User Lists Appearing On: Trash & Treasure, List D, Watchlist + +, trash movie night, Owned Movies on DVD IMDB Plot Keywords: assassin, sex, cleavage, gun action, director cameo This doesn’t mean the acting is any better, though. Playmate Quotient: Surprisingly low! Speir, Vasquez, and Brimhall are the only actual Playmates on hand. Miyagi, and this movie has a woman grabbing his dick. There might be no more sacrosanct character from my youth than Mr. And yes, he is frequently shirtless and massaging or being massaged by a woman young enough to be his granddaughter’s much younger cousin. Lastly, Pat Morita plays bad guy Masakana “Kane” Kaneshiro. Newcomer Stephanie Schick (better known by her classy sobriquet Pandora Peaks) rounds out the cast (sorry) as new agent Atlanta Lee. Shane are all back as Bruce Christian, Edy Stark, Lucas, and Shane Abilene respectively. They’re the Even Couple.īruce Penhall, Cynthia Brimhall, William Bumiller, and Michael J. Nicole basically has the same personality as Donna does. Since she was introduced in Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Donna was the glowering, no-nonsense one, which contrasted well with bubbly, goofy Taryn. Supermarket hit on the problem with these two within seconds: they’re pretty much the same character. And to make matters creepier, he’s romancing Donna this time around.ĭona Speir and Roberta Vasquez return as Donna and Nicole. There’s no comment about his uncanny resemblance to the Jack of Diamonds, either. Pat Morita has to pay the rent, same as you.Ĭast: Erik Estrada’s back, though this time he’s playing good guy Colonel Richard “Rico” Estevez.
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